THE INTERVIEW: Eunice Chon

Real Haters sits down with Eunice Chon '25-'26 to talk faith, campus celebrity, and the art of the perfect LinkedIn page.

Eunice Chon ’25-’26 is a junior concentrating in the History of Science and Philosophy. She has conducted research at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, and hopes to become a doctor. At the Harvard Institute of Politics, she has led bipartisan, faith, and feminist initiatives. With her brother Peter Chon ’26, she served on the Harvard Undergraduate Association’s academic team and ran for Association co-president in the 2024 election. Last month, she announced her intent to transfer from Kirkland House to Mather House, the biggest acquisition for Mather since Conan O’Brien ’85.

The interview was conducted in Kirkland House on a rainy day in April. The transcript has been edited and condensed for clarity.

HG: In my last interview, I started by asking my subject for his review of Conclave. I feel like I should keep that tradition going. What’s your Conclave take?

EC: Not the most romantic twenty-second birthday ever.

HG: [Bursts out laughing.]

Sorry. Let’s start over. My twenty-second birthday was a big deal for me. Growing up, my family always forgot my birthday. So I told my boyfriend, “you have to remember; you can’t forget.” He took me to the Boston Common AMC, which I had never been to before. And he was looking for an adult film without any explicit content, which I don’t like to watch in movies, and Conclave-

Rated PG.

Conclave was rated PG, but it was a film about popes. I didn’t watch the trailer; I thought it was going to be pretty lame, not gonna lie. But it was great. Ralph Fiennes should have won an Oscar.

What is the nature of your relationship with Real Haters? On November 13th, before we had ever spoken in person, you swiped up on my Crimson profile photo to call me a, and I quote, “sexy babe.” Would you say that Real Haters is sexy?

Oh, absolutely.

What advice would you give to someone aspiring to be, as you are, an icon of Harvard’s gay community?

How do you know that?

I know a lot of gay men.

I came from the South. The Bible Belt. Everyone around me was either a pastor’s kid or a pastor’s grandkid. When I came to Harvard, it was the first time that I ever met an openly gay person. And even though I was feeling very empowered by my participation in protest movements and in student life, in my freshman year, out of ignorance — not out of hatred — I said a lot of out-of-pocket things. And people who grew up in religious schools and religious environments, and have incurred a lot of damage from those backgrounds, were also scared that they’re gonna hate me.

On the other hand — I didn’t realize is that my gay classmates missed the disapproval of a fifty-year-old Asian auntie. I have fans, and it worked in my favor.

You’re moving to Mather House for your senior year. My question is: who on HoCo saw you commit a hit-and-run and blackmailed you into doing that to yourself?

Anna Dean.

What are you looking forward to most about Mather — the mice, the long walk to the Yard, or the fact that I will no longer be there?

I’m trying to get into DeWolfe. It’s nice! We’ll have a kitchen, and lots of space-

Are you joining your brother Peter’s blocking group, or did he draw the line there?

I am joining Peter’s blocking group. He’ll never get a girlfriend with this living situation. Actually — no, it won’t help. Peter’s standards are very high, though. Mine are just “good looking” and “tall.” Peter has a list. Really, I just know that whoever he ends up with, I’ll love… because she’ll have cleared his standards first.

My brother likes me fine, but I think he’d rather die than attend the same school as me, let alone work in student government with me. How should I go about entrapping him into having as tight a bond as you and Peter?

Well, our family has struggled a lot. We've gone through a lot of hardships, and there was no way that we weren't going to be a tight-knit unit, because when your family goes through all of that together, life can sometimes feel like it's you against everyone else.

I had joined the new Harvard Undergraduate Association on the academic team. Peter was not the type to be involved in student government. He is a lot more socially well adjusted than I am, which is surprising, because he's the one who’s studying math. He really likes to just go to church and do math and hang out with friends. This was completely new for him. And when it was all over, I asked him, “what did you find meaningful about being academic officer?” He replied, “I realized how badly things can go when people with self-serving intentions are placed in leadership. I should probably join the local school board when I’m a father, so that I keep up with what decisions are being made about my children's education. But I have no ambition for going into politics.”

That’s very profound, which is gonna make my next question sound even worse. What would you say to all those ungrateful assholes who went to your HUA events and then didn't elect you president?

…My platform’s strengths were that we would advocate very strongly for students against a hostile administration. The Harvard student body ended up electing an HUA that is way better at planning carnivals and fun events than I ever would have been at planning those events.

If we had to quantify it — what percentage of IOP students, would you say, think they're gonna be president someday?

Percentage? Near zero.

Really? I would have said thirty-plus percent.

No. They understand the truth — we don’t have anyone in our current student body who has the talent for it.

There's been a lot of chatter about intellectual vitality and the future of conservatism at Harvard. Who is more likely to become the intellectual foundation of the Republican Party — you or Jeb Bush?

Jeb Bush, because he’s a Republican.

I think it’s still more likely to be you.

Hm.

I want to have a LinkedIn presence like yours. But Real Haters is a fundamentally degenerate enterprise with no redeeming value. Is it even possible?

I would disagree with your claim that there’s no redeeming value to Real Haters.

That’s nicer than what the last guy said.

But my advice for anyone trying to get into LinkedIn is: just do it. I got my LinkedIn account when I was sixteen. At the time, that was the earliest you could get a LinkedIn. I was in student government in middle school, and our county school board held a conference for student leaders. There was a session on setting up a LinkedIn page. The speaker was guy called “The LinkedIn Guy.” I was too young to have LinkedIn by then, so I waited and when I turned sixteen, I contacted him to help me set up my page.

I kept my LinkedIn format all through high school, and when we all got accepted to colleges, I made a bunch of online friends who looked up my LinkedIn and copied my format. I was more famous on LinkedIn and Instagram than I ever was on any other platforms. But as soon as I noticed that my friends were copying my LinkedIn formatting, I completely changed it to a word-vomit of everything. I would love to neaten things up, because there’s so much on there that I don’t think is necessary anymore, but that is the state of my LinkedIn page today — chaos.

Wow. I-

Another horrible story: my brother ended up meeting a girl from a different school, and over dinner, he mentioned that he has a sister. The girl says, “Oh, Eunice Chon! I've been following her on LinkedIn since high school.”

You are the daughter of a pastor. Do you fear God? I ask because you told me that you put mayo on your scrambled eggs, which suggests that the answer is “no.”

I do fear God. I am a very spiritually sensitive person, so I see God’s hand my life a lot, especially in hindsight. Fear is a misunderstood concept. Even among Christians, they don’t know what it means to fear God. Fear is a pretty negative word, so you think you would fear somebody who’s bad, right? Why would you fear someone who unconditionally loves you? Yeah, I think you need a fear of God to live. But what does that have to do with mayo? It’s made of eggs!

You know how kosher laws forbid consuming milk and meat at the same time? That’s my principle with egg-on-egg.

So you don’t like hollandaise sauce on your eggs benedict?

No, ma’am.

I feel sorry for you.

I’m not really sure how many Real Haters readers are looking to land a God-fearing woman, because frankly, you’ve got to have something spiritually wrong with you to read this blog. But hypothetically — what advice would you have for someone to find a Godly wife at Harvard?

That’s the wrong attitude altogether. Should you come into college with an attitude of wanting to find a partner for life, who loves Christ the same way that you do — it’s admirable. But it’s not for everyone. Our frontal lobes aren’t fully developed yet.

I heard that couples will last if they agree on four things: one, religion; two, finances; three, values; and four how they want to raise their children. If you agree on these four things, you’re not going to fight that much, and you're probably going to make a strong marriage. I believe it. My dad also told me to find somebody who tithes, and that if I’m dating someone who is late three times in a row, to dump him, because this is somebody who doesn’t respect other people’s time. My mother advised me to find a Christian man, and to get to know his parents, especially his father.

In the end, I just picked my boyfriend because he’s good-looking and tall. So there’s that.

Your campaign slogan was, “Peter and I aren’t simps for each other, but we are simps for you.” Are you a simp for me, Eunice?

The origins of that slogan are really funny. In one of our Christian fellowships, every year or semester, they hold a fundraising auction. And one of the items that Peter put up for auction was “lessons on how to biblically be a simp,” because he is a very romantic friend — in that, he taught himself how to arrange flowers to give to his friends, and is generally a very warm, caring friend.

When I was picking our campaign slogan, I was inspired by that statement, because one criticism we faced as a ticket was that we seemed too close to be siblings. This criticism wasn’t something I ever heard to my face or in-person, but it was pernicious online. So we thought it would be a funny slogan.

But are you a simp for me, Eunice?

Undoubtedly.